A Gentlemen's Guide to Humilty
Humility oftentimes conjures images of weakness, submissiveness and fear. But gentlemen, what others do not, real humility is a sign of strength, dignity and confidence. Act as if you've been there before.
What Humility Is
When one exhibits humility, think not of timidness or shyness or a lack of self esteem. Instead think of humility as simply requiring a gentleman to think of his abilities, testicular fortitude and his actions as no greater and no lesser than they really are. The humble gentleman, truly assess what are his gifts and to what magnitude he possesses those talents and gifts, struggles and weaknesses. With that said, humility is simply the absence of pride. We are often taught to think pride is a good thing. But pride functions only when comparing yourself to others. We often gain a sense of prideful satisfaction by comparing our strengths to someone else's weaknesses. In doing so, we lose sight of the ways we need to improve ourselves.
What Humility Is Not
In a gentleman's quest to be humble, we often confuse humility with false modesty. We spend many hours putting together an excellent presentation for work, and when praised, we say, "Oh, it was just something I threw together." This demeanor of false humility is often used to attract more praise and adulation from others. You want people to think "Wow, he just threw that together! Imagine what he could do if he had spend hours on it." When you do something well, don't toot your own horn excessively but do truthfully acknowledge what you accomplished. Having a lack of self awareness in a situation such as this, can give you the presence of being fake and only interested in self promotion.
How to Practice Humility
Give credit where credit is due.
Taking the most possible credit, typically goes hand-in-hand with the prideful man. On the other side of the coin sits the humble gentlemen, seeking to shine the focus on all others that came together to make a success occur. Realize this, no man rises to the top on their own. Innate talent and lucky breaks, coupled with supportive family member, friends, teachers or coach, always contribute somewhere down the line.
Don't name/experience drop.
We all have a strong dislike for the interjector, you know the guy. He interjects for no particular reason on how he's done this or done that, tidbits that seem to hold no weight in the conversation. Resist the urge to take part in such a pissing match. You usually will end up with pee on your shoe anyway.
Stop one-upping people.
Have you ever been in a conversation with a 'I'm better than you and I know it' type of guy, you know the typical the 'One-Upper', In the middle of a conversation he will interject how his story or experience is just a tad-bit better than yours. This guy rarely even listens to what is coming out of your mouth, and only cares about self promotion. These miserable little shits are clearly insecure; they must front load their conversation with bull-shit, to suffice their attention grabbing addiction. The humble man does not always have to be the biggest toad in the puddle. He understands that others have equally important stories to tell, and knows his turn will come.
- Brent Kraus