The Clark Griswold Quote of the Day
Here at Ella Bing we are big fans of the great Clark Griswold and his heroic family values. Being that it is that time of year, we figured we would pay homage to Mr. Griswold by posting quotes from his epic Christmas Vacation movie. So each day until Christmas, we will be posting a comedic quote, from Clark Griswold himself.
Dec 1st
"Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now." - Clark Griswold
Dec 2nd
"Bend over and I'll show you" - Clark Griswold
Dec 3rd
"Oh the Crunch enhancer? Yeah it's a non-nutritive cereal varnish. It's semi-permiable. It's not osmotic. What it does is it coats and seals the flake, prevents the milk from penetrating it." - Clark Griswold
Dec 4th
"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" - Clark Griswold
Dec 5th
"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer..." - Clark Griswold
Dec 6th
"We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols" - Clark Griswold
Dec 7th
"It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club." - Clark Griswold
Dec 8th
"Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah" - Clark Griswold
Dec 9th
"We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols" -Clark Griswold
Dec 10th
[a squirrel is loose in the house] "Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things" - Clark Griswold
Dec 11th
Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the suit cases, and well, I'll be outside for the season.
Dec 12th
[the newel post is wobbly so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post.
Dec 13th
Can't see the line, can you Russ?
Dec 14th
If that cat had nine lives she just spent 'em all!
Dec 15th
We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.
Dec 16th
Let's burn some dust here, eat my rubber!
Dec 17th
Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - brousing.
Dec 18th
Uh... huh? What happened? I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Dec 19th
Yes, Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean 'nippy out.' What am I saying, nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though.
Dec 20th
Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No shit.
Dec 21st
No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.
Dec 22nd
Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
Dec 23rd
He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.
Dec 24th
That's all part of the experience honey.
Dec 25th
I really shouldn't Eddie my hands are all chapped.
Dec 26th
Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace
Dec 27th
Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?
Dec 28th
If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.
Dec 29th
Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!!
Dec 30th
My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain...
Dec 31st
Uh, Eddie? What's wrong with the dog?
[Snot gags again, table shakes]