Here at Ella Bing we are big fans of the great Clark Griswold and his heroic family values. Being that it is that time of year, we figured we would pay homage to Mr. Griswold by posting quotes from his epic Christmas Vacation movie. So each day until Christmas, we will be posting a comedic quote, from Clark Griswold himself. 

Dec 1st
"Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now." - Clark Griswold


Dec 2nd
"Bend over and I'll show you" - Clark Griswold


Dec 3rd
"Oh the Crunch enhancer? Yeah it's a non-nutritive cereal varnish. It's semi-permiable. It's not osmotic. What it does is it coats and seals the flake, prevents the milk from penetrating it." - Clark Griswold


Dec 4th
"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" - Clark Griswold


Dec 5th
"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer..." - Clark Griswold


Dec 6th
"We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols" - Clark Griswold


Dec 7th
"It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club." - Clark Griswold


Dec 8th
"Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah" - Clark Griswold


Dec 9th
"We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols" -Clark Griswold


Dec 10th
[a squirrel is loose in the house] "Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things" - Clark Griswold

Dec 11th

 Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the suit cases, and well, I'll be outside for the season.

Dec 12th

[the newel post is wobbly so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post.

Dec 13th

Can't see the line, can you Russ?

Dec 14th

If that cat had nine lives she just spent 'em all!

Dec 15th

 We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.

Dec 16th

Let's burn some dust here, eat my rubber!

Dec 17th

Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - brousing.

Dec 18th

Uh... huh? What happened? I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?

Dec 19th

Yes, Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean 'nippy out.' What am I saying, nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though.

Dec 20th

Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No shit.

Dec 21st

No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

Dec 22nd

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...

Dec 23rd

He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.

Dec 24th

That's all part of the experience honey.

Dec 25th

I really shouldn't Eddie my hands are all chapped.

Dec 26th

Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace

Dec 27th

Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?

Dec 28th

 If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.

Dec 29th

Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!!

Dec 30th

My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain...

Dec 31st

Uh, Eddie? What's wrong with the dog?
[Snot gags again, table shakes]

[time] minutes ago, from [location]
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